Not If You Were The Last Man On Earth

Sarah Palin announced today that she would run for President if it were the "right thing for the U.S. and the Palin family." Ok, let's forget the part about the Palin family. Considering the pieces of information coming out about how the First Dude handled himself in Alaska, I'm not sure there will be a lot of disagreement within the Palin family about a run for the White House. Now, as for the U.S. - I say this being a happy moderate Republican who did not fall to the hype last election and still voted for McCain and am now happier than ever I voted for him. That being said, exactly how many meteors must hit the planet and kill off the remaining eligible candidates for President before Palin running is the "right thing" for the U.S.??? The same day she was filmed with notes written on her hand during an interview, reminding herself to talk about energy and the budget. Seriously? You can't remember those two topics in a 5 minute interview? Given the complete embarrassment that was her foreign policy ability during the election, there wasn't much left for her to impress voters with - and now it's hand notes that the budget and energy are important? Did her other hand have a reminder to eat and use the bathroom? Come on - there was a survey of 5th graders who listed the 4 most important issues as 1) No school on Fridays, 2) Less homework, 3) Stop the war, and 4) Global Warming/Energy. Awesome, our 5th graders remembered one of the two major issues, but our "future president" can't do it for 5 minutes.

I'll bite the bullet and say it. I'm annoyed with how women are doing in politics - no I don't mean that in a chauvinistic way, I mean there are so many OTHER women that would be great Presidents. Palin has no business being in the same sentence as the word "President", much less being pumped up as a potential candidate. She simply can not hold together the concepts long enough, and while she may be a wonderful woman, a devote Christian and dedicated mother, those are not the only credentials needed to be President. Hillary Clinton on the other hand has the intelligence and ability to be President. Now, she's dead wrong on 70% of the stuff that comes out of her mouth and would turn this country into a socialist nightmare, but if you're into that kind of stuff, I'd have to say she would be an intelligent woman you could support. Instead, she loses to what I consider flat-out media hype. Obama is smart and a great speaker, but I see no reason why Hillary wouldn't have been an equally good candidate (again, if you're into that). On the other hand there are women like Christine Todd Whitman who would be great candidates for President, yet we can not get ourselves as a country or a party to focus long enough off of the shiny object to realize it.

But I digress. Palin as President? Boo Radley as Speaker of the House and Scrooge McDuck as our compassionate Secretary of State should about round out that ticket...

Hey I'm Sitting Right Here

So I was at a meeting tonight for one of our kid's activities. During the meeting a few people started talking about a lawsuit that is pending, which I not only happen to be involved with, but I just spent all day working on. The entertaining part was that these people did not agree with each other as to what the lawsuit was about and what the problem was, so we literally sat there for 10 minutes as they debated. I was absolutely stone cold silent as I stared in disbelief. Not only did they both disagree with each other, but neither of them was right. Of course one of them dropped the bomb that they knew someone who used to work at one of the companies so they had "inside" information as to what it was really about. It was like being in the Metallica video for "One" where the guy sees and hears everyone but he can't move or talk. As a result, you the fun loving internet crowd, get to see this redacted version of my whining. The only thought that scared me even more is that these people will be the jury pool...

Nothing Like the Smell of Napalm in the Morning!

Taking a beating today! Got to work and almost immediately I could not see in the center of my vision, just a blurry mess. Nothing like review a contract when you can't read the middle of it. Then I figured out if I turned the lights off in my office I could see better. Ok, so less blurry vision as I sit in the dark. About 20 minutes later the headache started. Yup, a headache, blurry vision, in the dark. During better now and I probably shouldn't take it personally when two different people come in my office to drop something off and then mention I should go home as I look like hell. Hey, I don't go into your office and tell you to lose weight. Court this afternoon - think happy thoughts.

Go Meat!

We've all seen the ads for "jumbo dogs", in essence explaining that sometimes you need or want more meat than a regular dog can provide. There has also been the extreme Foot-long dog, just in case the regular and jumbo were not sufficient, industry has created 12 inches of meat to address even the greatest meat lover's desire. Well, apparently a foot might not even be enough. Sometimes you just need 36 inches of meat...

Plumpynut

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I Don't Give A Shirt

Open Letter Re: Evolution & Men's Bathrooms

As a society we have developed ethics and morals, something that allows our interaction with each other to be more pleasant and overall in conformity with our ideals of "natural law". That's all nice and good, but there is also a dark side. The side that has stunted evolution. We could talk about the fact that disease is not an instant disqualification from our gene pool anymore. We could talk about disabilities no longer putting someone at risk for "survival of the fittest". Instead, my greatest irritation today comes from the realization that there are numerous males on the planet that should have died out long ago, but instead they continue to lurk in the gene pool. These men are men who could not hunt to save their lives and therefore should have died out long ago. Now let's be clear, I am not an avid hunter, but having dealt with firearms enough (and even taking bow lessons earlier in life - don't ask), I at least have the fundamentals down - specifically AIM. Why is this so important? Not because I care at all whether someone hunts or even likes hunting. Instead, one of the basic skills of hunting for food, translates directly to urinating in a men's toilet. Without the ability to aim, there is an entire genetic branch that is not capable of peeing a 1/4 inch stream into a 16 inch hole. Instead, half of it ends up all over the seat. I mean really, if these people had to hunt for food, they would die off within 3 weeks as they couldn't hit a sloth with a rock if it were asleep 3 feet away. This apparently is why urinals have an opening twice the normal size even when we stand 4 inches away. So now the rest of humanity (at least the men) must deal with the face that 90% of all public toilets look like they went through the urine car wash and if we desire to use said toilet it has become our unwitting duty to dry and mentally block out any thought we are soaking in some else's beer from last night. Did I mention I'm irritated? Then again, maybe it's jut me.